mathieutozer.com

I thought I had cast computers away for good. And I still hold that I have. But it is dissapointing to see me procrastinating on a coputer again. You see, I have many things to do, and although I realise that no matter how many times I write out what I have to do it will not get the things done, I still do it. I am stuffing around, at the expence of my concience, but then, when I have thought about those things, I think about how hard I have worked at school today, and I wonder, do I really have to do this homework?
One thing I just thought that I could do. I could think, "What it bugging me, worring me the worst?"
Let's see....
Chemisry - in particular the fact that I have not done all that neap stuff.
Ok, since that is one thing prominent on my mind, perhaps I should get that done, and then I can have the slight pleasure of saying that "I have done neap" Especially so that when I get all those practice exams to do I don't have to worry about the backlog, which I have let back up horribly over the past 10 or so weeks.
Next worry I have is that of Japanese, and how I need to get my Marriage extended study well and underaway.
Literature, usually second after Chemistry, is not so bad at the moment, as I am going alright with the Views and Values SAC preparation at the moment, and I have a good knowlege of the book. Having a cold too does not help. I think I should have an early night tonight. I know that it IS procrastination, but I reason that if I don't got some sleep I am going to be pretty damn tired when I get to Friday afternoon's wtritten report SAC.
I also have been thinking. If I go into my Chemistry exam confident, and not a scrap nervous (I work in abolutes at the moment) then I am going to do well. But it's just this. I can't say "I am confident" I just can't do that, to REALLY have that content feeling while going into an exam, and I know that this feeling exists, I have felt it when entering a Japanese exam, you have to KNOW the questions, the words, and you have to have done the PRACTICE. So gearing this to chemistry, I have to have done heaps of questions, and revised the theory numerous times, well, not numerous times, but a few, but thoroughly. It also means Chapter summaries, Neap, practice exams, and book questions.

Cant find my other diary file!
Anyway I worked today! Yes! I ahven't ben working for AGES! And I need money! It's funny, I never realised I was so poor during school but as soon as I have heaps of time I'm like SHIT! What am I meant to do without the stuff!
Hiroshi is a bit bored, but it's still OK< I try to make it as interesting and fun as possible, and he understands that. he's only with us for a couple of weeks more. How time flies!
I have been getting into fantasy again now that I have the time, it's so fun, I love it. Reading it, writing it, and what a better way to do it than on the colour classic!
I have also been reading other etexts, but Mythran is the main excitement and focus because I am actually involved in it. I still haven't connected to the list properly yet.
I just realised something, and even then, it is hard to actually think about it. If you read below - travelling back in time - you will notice how school oriented, soley all my concentrations were geared towards that, but now, I am exploring leisure creative things.
But still even when I find myself relaxing, I feel guilty because I think tha I should be doing something. It's axsiety I suppose, but don't only 40 year old men get those?
baibai, going to get Fish and chips now.